It’s Time to Stop Chasing Someone Else’s Dream
The keynotes at our recent Thrive conference have been living rent-free in my thoughts since returning home. Different speakers, different styles, yet a beautiful shared thread ran through all of the talks: each speaker has a strong sense of who they are and why they work the way they do. At some point realising what ‘Defining Your Ideal Photographer’ looks like for them.
Do any wedding photography education, and you will no doubt be taught to define an Ideal Client. Useful. But if you skip defining your Ideal Photographer first, it’s very easy to build a business around a version of you that doesn’t exist. That’s how you end up working hard without ever feeling truly satisfied. This blog post is a nudge to check in: are you building towards your vision, or someone else’s?
Are you chasing your dream, or borrowing someone else’s?
Listen, it is noisy out there currently. Algorithms seem to reward the same content on repeat: destination work, glossy features, fancy venues, accolades. None of these goals is in any way wrong – unless they’re not your goals.
Tell-tale signs you’re borrowing goals:
- You’re “busy” but not proud of what the work adds up to.
- You want the badge more than the day-to-day that comes with it.
- You light up talking about one kind of commission, but your current marketing is for another.
- You keep raising prices because others do or someone told you to, not because your offer changed in any way.
A quieter reminder: you’re allowed to want what feels good for you personally that might be travel-focused destination weddings, detail-rich styling, high price points but also it might be local bookings, simple weddings, clear margins. The point here is to want what feels ideal for you, on purpose. To take time out from the grind to think about this and define it, so you are measuring it internally, not externally.
Start with you: the Ideal Photographer Check-in
Before you tweak your packages or overhaul your website, pause. Get specific about who you are when you’re doing your best work and the kind of life your business supports.
Use these prompts to journal or mindmap:
- When did your work feel energising in the past year, and why?
- When did it feel heavy, and what was out of sync?
- Which commissions made you excited to sit down and edit?
- Which clients felt easy to communicate with, and what made that true?
- What recognition actually matters to you: respect, creative freedom, financial stability, community impact?
- What does a good week look like across work, money, time, and health?
- If comparison disappeared, what would success look like by this time next year?
Write honest answers, not aspirational ones.
Turn clarity into decisions
Translate what you wrote into simple guardrails you can actually use.
More of / Less of
- List three things you’ll do more of because they fuel strong results.
- List three you’ll do less of because they drain you or don’t lead anywhere.
Capacity
- Set a cap on commissions, travel days, delivery timelines. Make it realistic, not heroic.
Positioning
- Complete this sentence:
- I create ____ for ____ so they can ____. I run the business like ____ so my life looks like ____.
If the sentence feels off, your goals are off. Adjust and try again.
Small experiments beat big promises
Don’t wait for a rebrand to live like the photographer you say you are. Choose one small test in each area and put a date on it.
- Craft: one constraint to guide your next booking ( a lighting technique, kit choice, posing prompt).
- Business: one package or pricing tweak that favours the work you want more of.
- Life: one boundary to trial this month (response times, travel radius, delivery buffer).
Review after 30 days. Keep what worked. Drop what didn’t. Repeat.
What the Farm community is noticing
When we explored this in the group, a few themes surfaced:
- One photographer admitted that although this had been her “most successful” year on paper, she had mentally struggled. She’d been chasing a luxury label, thinking it would bring validation, but realised that working with couples who simply appreciate her work brings her far more joy.
- Another shared that she’d once been caught up in what everyone else was doing – the growth, the followers, the features – only to realise she’d already reached the version of success she wanted; she just hadn’t stopped long enough to recognise it and was still feeling the pressure to sprint.
- And another described success as being less about financial wealth and more about balance: time for her family, health, and being surrounded by good people. She wrote, “Are we financially rich? Nah. Are we rich in all the ways that matter? Aye, 100%.”
These reflections perfectly capture what I think so many of us are craving right now, a quieter kind of success. One that feels grounded, personal, and sustainable because it’s coming from within, not without.
Why this matters
Once you’re clear on your Ideal Photographer:
- Your marketing narrows and gets easier to write.
- Your pricing aligns with the value of the way you work.
- Your creative voice strengthens because it’s not hedging.
- Your enquiries self-select, because your message is specific.
This is why Thrive focuses on learning, business development, and connection. Ideas are great. Integration is better. Clarity is lovely. Traction changes your year.
Redefining Success
I’ve seen time and again, both in my own career and through the photographers I mentor, that things start to click when you stop chasing someone else’s version of success. When you lean into who you truly are, you start attracting clients who value that too.
This industry rewards visibility, but trust me, it also rewards clarity of purpose. Stop chasing someone else’s dream – define yours and let everything else line up. It’s about knowing yourself well enough to stay steady, even when the online noise gets loud.
So before another busy season, take a moment to reflect. Who is your Ideal Photographer right now? What does success truly look like for you?
IMAGES: Lisa Devlin
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